My walk with Cholangio the Beast

My Walk with Cholangio the Beast.
Hi all my name is Steve and this is my story . . . 

We are all Immortal until we are not . . .  It was a very big shock to discover my own mortality. When the fatal like news was delivered to my ears, I instantly spiralled down into a deep dark cloud disorientated and confused beyond anything I had ever experienced. What was very odd, was it was if I just hit a bottom and then bounced back up out of this dark place. I found myself in a moment of clarity, almost as if all my remaining reserves of energy, had suddenly leapt to my defence and surged into my frontal lobe generating a “Matrix” type moment . . . a brief oasis of blue sky. In that moment I simplified and galvanised my thinking with ease, I focused if not promised myself that I will always take that next step no matter how hard, small or insignificant it may seem at the time. I developed a saying to remind me of this; “Take that next step and the one beyond that until momentum reaches out and embraces me lifting up and beyond what I felt was possible today”.

I quickly learned the importance and effectiveness of purposeful thinking . . . Vision and Purpose generate Momentum. . . without momentum is without life!

I also promised myself that no matter how I felt I will LIVE LIFE  UNTIL I DIE  –  IN THAT ORDER ! – I know this sounds a little melodramatic to those who have not endured such a beast as Cholangio, but it resonated strongly with me at the time. I am sharing these very raw and personal thoughts primarily as a way of communicating to myself in an attempt to heal and ease the pain and maybe it will also help another Cholangio comrade? When you are in the tight grip of such a beast, it is surprising where the mind goes and the thoughts it generates.

Hmmmm….So where do I start?… AM I SCARED, YES OF COURSE I AM… AT TIMES I AM ABSOLUTELY “SH#T” SCARED…but I step up and do it anyway. (Apologies for the language!)

Cholangiocarcinoma (Bile Duct Cancer) a very rare and deadly cancer beast.
My pronunciation method –  “Chol an Gio Car Ci No Ma” or maybe ‘Cholangio’ the Beast for short?

I feel like I am taking a walk on the wild side with the beast of all beasts ‘Cholangio’. . .

Continue to my full Story/diary

All the best
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